What the Hell Happened?

Week 8

JayKay's Take:  Every now and again, we find ourselves spaced out a little. You know, bugged eyed, mouth wide open, trickle of drool dripping off your bottom lip. Nothing is really processing. That's how I felt a few minutes ago reflecting on this game and wondering what the hell I was going to write. Before tuning in to the game, I knew to have my Smith and Wesson 9mm loaded and ready to turn on myself. Of course I didn't shoot myself, I'm way too awesome to do that, but in hindsight, I should have. The highlight of this game was a 43yd pass from one QB to another, and that folks.... pretty much sums it all up. The Raiders offense mustered 19 yards in the first half, one yard for every beer I drank today. The Wiggles would have gained more yards cartwheeling down the field. Oh, one of those Wiggles was called Chaz, and he led the offense with 76yds receiving. Ray and the boys did what they usually do, and Flacco looked versatile. Derek Mason did his typical bi-monthly Houdini impersonation and Willis McGahee ran in a TD with minimal yardage on the day. If you own anyone else outside of these two I'll mail you my Smith and Wesson. What more can I say? It was the Raiders playing Baltimore. Quite frankly I'd rather have watched Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

Flubb's Take:  This game was a heckuva show. Two old guys both claiming that particular lawn is theirs and everybody else better get off it. The older guy with the cane was more impressive with 381 yds passing and 2tds, but it wasn't enough as CAR came through in the end with Fighty Smurf tiptoe'n through the tulips down the sideline for the go ahead score, his second of the game. Deangelo was the man today with 108 and paydirt while those of you starting Stewart just got dirt. Hightower did what he does: 6 carries for 3yds and still outscored a fumbly Edge even without the 2yd TD. Of course he really only needed 15 more yards to outrush Edge anyway. Getting their money's worth there, aren't they?  It's hard to be upset when Fitz gets 7 grabs for 115yds but I am. Lockjaw Boldin gets both?! Boldin played hard, I give him respect, he isn't tentative at all. Those of you who picked up Breaston (if only for your understandable fascination with his name) and played him even with Boldin in the game were rewarded with a solid outing. He looks good; I'm looking forward to seeing him alot in the coming years. CAR's second-ranked pass defense was worked over like the last guy who owed me money, but ya can't blame them, those ARI receivers are crazy good.

In the end ARI just made too many mistakes. Once again somebody tries to get cute and it turns out ugly. 4th and 14 and you fake a fieldgoal eh? A botched extra point, almost patented turnovers, and tacklers that looked as if they were grabbing for a really elusive greased watermelon was just too much for ARI to overcome and CAR is alone atop the NFC South

Glass Joe's Take:  Well, when I got the tap on the shoulder to do the WTHH for the Cowboys-Bucs game, I couldn't have been more thrilled. Being an admitted Cowgirls fan, I figured it would be quite therapeutic to whine and complain and vent about the Cowboys losing an ugly, ugly game.

Well, I was only half right as the Cowboys, instead, won an ugly, ugly game. The Boys did what they had to do...ride Barber like a rented mule and rely on their underperforming defense to step up and play a solid game. MB3 ground out (and when I say "ground out," I mean a slow, grueling, painful type of grinding) 100 total yards w/ 6 catches. TO was virtually nonexistent (though he lead the team in receiving with 33 big ol' yards). Roy, the $9 million man, caught his first ever TD as a Cowboy and even threw in a second catch for 8 more yards...how magnanimous.

For the Bucs, they just couldn't finish. They were the better team between the 20s but failed to find paydirt even once, and it cost them in the end. Graham and Garthia got a little yardage for their owners, and it looked like Antonio Bryant was going to just go off with three catches for 25 yards in the first 4 minutes of the game... but he only got another 20 yards on 3 more catches in the last 56 minutes of the game.

This was a huge, ugly win for the Cowboys as they can now go into NY next week, get mudstomped, have a bye to heal their wounds, and hope they can go 5-2 down the stretch to sneak into the playoffs a la the '08 Giants.....though I don't foresee a similar success come playoff time.

The Bucs could go either way this year, and a win this week would have really done a lot for their confidence. As it stands now, I don't see them winning their division, though they may have a shot at sneaking in as a wildcard.  They could end up tied with the Boys at 10-6 come year's end and be on the outside looking in because of their inability to finish even a single drive this week and put away an obviously inferior team.

Maida gc's Take:  Football is a funny thing. The stat line on the Washington side of the ball is sick. Campbell, 325yds and a TD; Portis over 120yds again, something he’s done each week now for 5 straight...after doing my own research on the history of football, statistically speaking I’ve concluded “that’s good”. And the real WR ‘Moss’ fantasy threat goes batty with 9 grabs for 140yds and 1 receiving TD, and a punt return TD for good measure.  He also treated my crotch like a Janokowski 72 yard FG attempt as I’m facing him in both of my leagues… c'mon! But with all those shiny glittering stats, Washington barely mustered out the win versus Orlovsky and the Lions. The Lions almost drove to tie it late, but London Fletcher pulled a Frank Costanza and stopped short on Calvin...1 yard short...ending the comeback. Calvin did, however, do enough to continue to warrant fantasy starts.  If the Lions are this bad I can’t wait to see them good for Calvin’s sake. He’s a total beast. Otherwise nothing out of the ordinary regarding this game.  Washington probably should have won by more, and the fact they didn’t is the only thing that went wrong for the Skins today. 

Maida gc's Take:  For the past few years, Buffalo and Miami have been laughable...and this game completely lost its sex appeal as one of the league’s top notch rivalries. But with Buffalo leading the East, and Miami making a huge play of late for respect and wins, this rivalry was back today. And it didn’t disappoint; this game was excellent. Miami modified their now famous “wildcat” formation into something completely crazy today and it was something that caught Buffalo totally off guard. Get this: First, they lined their QB up behind center, had him take the snap and drop back, survey the field, THEN he threw it to WRs… I know, right? Not sure where Miami came up with this cockamamie plan, but it worked. Pennington was a beast today. 22/30 over 300 and a TD, no picks, no turnovers. Ted Ginn, Jr. had 7 receptions for 175yds! 175?... COVER GINN! The Phins RB combo was far from special today.  Ricky did at least get over the stripe for the lone Miami rush TD. Buffalo had their chances; FGs instead of TDs and turnovers...classic story. Lynch scored the first rushing TD of the season against Miami and added in nearly 100 combo yards. Evans snatched 7 balls for 116yds,  but this game and loss is on Trent Edwards. With 3 turnovers and a poor 3rd down ratio, he just didn’t have it today and it was the difference. Call me crazy but Miami is actually in a decent position to WIN the AFC EAST. Hahahahhahha…. Okay back to my beer.

Bengrimm's Take:   Saaaved by Zeero. How telling is it that the thing that sticks with me after this game is the stupid Toyota commercial that they played 700 times during this game? Saaaved by Zeero!

Injuries kept Steven Jackson, Sammy Morris, LaMont Jordan, and Rodney Harrison out of the game. Leonard Little left the game early with an injury, and Ellis Hobbs was injured late in the game. Saaaved by Zeero!

Donnie Avery continued his emergence at WR with a great 69 yard TD reception and a total of 6 catches for 163 yards! This kid has amazing speed and the Rams have shown they are more than willing to take shots downfield. Antonio Pittman was a decent fill in for Jackson with 19 carries for 83 yards, but he was very ineffective in the red zone. Tory Holt was mostly invisible today catching only 3 passes for 28 yards. Saaaved by Zeero!

The Patriots needed Matt Cassel to throw often today with so many injuries to their running backs. Cassel looked good throwing the ball. He did have two interceptions, but one came off of a deflection and the other because Wes Welker tripped over his shadow mid-route. BenJarvis Green-Ellis had a 1 yard TD, but that was it. He was not a big part of the game, got stuffed on a fourth and 1 play, and should go back to the accounting firm that shares his name. Faulk was the sparkplug for the Patriots today, with 107 yards of offense and a 33 yard touchdown catch. Moss and Welker both had 7 receptions each. Moss had plenty of room to roam in the middle of the field and Cassel looked to him often late in the game. Saved By Zero, Saved By Zero, Saved By Zero!

Outlaw's Take:  The New Orleans Saints are Superbowl bound! They are going to follow the trend started by the New York Giants...that the winner of this game in soggy Wembley Stadium wins the Superbowl that season. Well, at least it sounded good.

This game isn't going to be remember for the missing stars (Bush, Merriman) or even the looming drug scandal that rocked the Saints this week. No, this game is all about the breakouts for many struggling stars that have been making fantasy owners pull out their hair. This is what a lot of people have been waiting patiently for, as the offenses exploded all over London. Finally the #1 pick overall in most drafts, LT2, returned to the form that owners had wanted to see; Antonio Gates followed suit with his breakout game. Heck even Marques Colston and Chris Chambers showed flashes after injuries.

Now if the SD defense can turn the ship around, they might actually have some success the rest of the season. But if they continue to stay on the field and not get the turnovers that made them a fantasy force they are going to be a FFB leper like the Bengals or the Lions.

Sledneck's Take:  This game went surprisingly down to the wire, but the J-E-T-S hung on in the end. There was a plethora (I love that word) of sweet catches from both teams today. In fact, both teams' wide outs produced some decent fantasy stats. Cotchery finally got his first c-note of the season. Coles was solid, hitting pay dirt again. Bowe, Gonzo, and even Mark Bradley all put up decent numbers. The story of the day, however, was Mighty Mouse Leon Washington’s 274 all purpose yards and 2 TD's. Is it me, or does it look like someone's holding the fast forward button when he's running? That boy can fly! He still outran half of the Chief's special teams with KC's punter on his back! Tyler Thigpen was pretty solid today and threw three less picks than future HOF Favre. As usual, Favre pulled out another last minute victory. I’m so glad he’s not in the NFC North anymore. Even though Thigpen played well, I just saw on the ESPN ticker that the Chiefs are talking to Stuffedpepper. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! He'll probably demand 80 million for 6 years and a guaranteed starter spot...dillhole. I also see that Larry Johnson is scheduled to see the commish for several off the field conduct issues...that's probably not a good thing. When are these knuckleheads gonna learn that stupidity is magnified 100 times when everyone knows who you are? Maybe one of the networks could bring back The Three Stooges. The 2008 version could star the Johnson twins (Larry and Chris) and Pacman Jones...jacksmacks.

Carnage's Take:  The Falcons traveled to Philly to take on an Eagles team that desperately needed a win to stay in the hunt for a playoff berth in the NFC East division. Well they got it easily, but unfortunately for the Eagles, everybody else in the NFC East also won today. The Falcons put up a decent effort, with Roddy White catching eight passes for 113 yards and two touchdowns. He had a monster game for my opponent in my IDP league, who kicked my team around like a hacky sack. (Up yours Ice.) But Brian Westbrook and the Eagles proved to be more than the Falcons could handle. Westbrook had a career rushing day with 167 yards and two touchdowns. Add 6 receptions for 42 yards for you PPR players, and thank you Mr. Westbrook for helping me win two of my matchups this week, and f^ck you very much for helping me lose another one. I’m clearly in too many leagues.

The only other score in this game was a run from 3 yards out by McNabb. He wasn’t great, but he played well enough to get the win. Both teams are 4-3 now, and both are two games out in their respective divisions. Overall, not a bad game to watch, but it would have been better had I started drinking earlier. Now with no more football to watch, I guess I’ll have to sit through the Rays/Phillies game. Either that or play some Wii Sports. I just hope I don’t get my ass kicked in boxing by my wife again. It’s just embarrassing.

Bouger Green Grabber s Take:  The Cleveland Browns team that we all expected at the beginning of the year showed today; however, the fantasy output was still a no-show. It is a sad day when big, fat nose tackle Shaun Rogers is the standout stat star on a team that was supposed to ooze fantasy points. Rogers finished with nine tackles, a sack and a blocked a field goal. This one came down to the last couple of plays as David Garrard tried to hit Matt “can you give me my razorback” Jones with a thirty yard pass on the next to last play. Jones bobbled the ball a good three or four times before the Cleveland d-back knocked it to the ground. Garrard and Jones both had some nice lines (get it? Lines – sticking with a theme here). Garrard finished with 283 yards passing, 59 yards rushing and 2 touchdowns. Jones had 117 yards receiving and a touch on 8 receptions. Hope you Jones’ owners enjoyed today’s output because his appeal doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell.

Ragin Kajun's Take: If you enjoy smack-mouth football, ferocious hitting and field goals aplenty, this game was for you. Buuuuut, if you're like me and were looking for some fireworks from players like Eli, Jacobs, Plax, Big Ben, Ward, et al....you are one pissed-off individual. Almost as pissed as Coach Mike Singletary's post-game rant - if you missed this, you gotta see it on Sportcenter tonight...yowza!!!

Not much to talk about in this one. Big Ben spent more time on his back (but no INTs) than on his feet (4 INTs). Maybe the Steelers could, you know, protect the damn quarterback!!!! On the slightly undark side, Mewelde Moore had a nice game grinding out 84 yards and a TD and Nate Washington averaged 65 yards per catch (but only grabbed one that counted). I don't know, but maybe the "braintrust" should see if they can get this kid involved more than 2 or 3 times a game. Cripes, he had another long TD called back because of a holding penalty.  What more evidence do these guys need! Santonio better shape up quick or this kid will take his job...mark it down.

Eli? I don't know about you but 199 yards and a TD does not a championship make. Jacobs and Ward combined for a measly 2.7 yds per carry. Yeah, that's really good, if they managed to get 50 carries!! Not much else to talk about really...the Steelers let this one slip away with that botched punt snap in the fourth quarter and ending up wasting a great defensive performance. The Giants keep winning; winning ugly, but winning.

ComBoz's Take:  Our own 49erFaithful was scheduled to cover this game...makes sense, right?  A true fan writing about a game which should be a cakewalk for his beloved Niners.  My inbox was empty this morning...no review...he's probably still trying to figure out what happened here.  Disclaimer:  I didn't see much of this game from the barstool I was perched in, but DID see enough to wonder "Holy cow, what's up with SF?"  O'Sullivan didn't step it up enough and found himself on the bench shortly after the interception he tossed.  Wallace wasn't outstanding, but didn't seem to make any mistakes as he completed over half his passes for 222yds and 2TDs.  Did anyone see Leonard Weaver coming? I sure didn't.  Seattle needed someone to step up in that hodgepodge of receivers, and he was the man today with 4 grabs for 116yds and 2 trips across the stripe.  He was really the only Seahawk with worthy fantasy points.  I know...big deal...who starts any Seahawks anyway?  Gore put together a nice day for his owners, with 159 total yards but it sure would've been nice if he had scored too...but he was really the only player for the Niners with any decent fantasy stats.  The Niners chalked up W's in total yards and time of possession, but not where it REALLY counted:  the scoreboard.   Hey 49ers...when you come out of your trance send us your rant; I know its in you somewhere!